My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Reggie can tackle my bush.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize