some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
