Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
