it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
