I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
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