I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
