Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
