Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
