Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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