im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
