Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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