how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Randomize