I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
