Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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