pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
The Olympian is in my bed
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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