I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
