Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
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