he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
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