the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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