Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
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