My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
