I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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