Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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