she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
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Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
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I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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