Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
