mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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