Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
