he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
