I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
