Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
