he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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