Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
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