Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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