I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize
