i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize