Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
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