if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
