oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Randomize
