He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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