Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
