is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
