I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
