tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
