Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
