Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
