Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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