he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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