i just wanna soil my oats bro
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
