who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Randomize
