respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I haven't been this sober since birth.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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