He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Randomize
