Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
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