im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
