u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Randomize
