His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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