I'm really into asian looking animals
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Randomize
