Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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