they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Houston, we have a squirter
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
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