4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Sober January is a disaster.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
