the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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