Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
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